What’s in your Closet? Of Identity and Clothing, Finances and Fashion

I recently kicked off a clothing closet cleanse project to “celebrate” the Sun joining Saturn in my first house. As any astrology buff out there might know – your first house is all about your identity – and with both Saturn and the Sun’s energies flowing strongly therein – I can’t help but feel inspired and motivated to transform and/or make changes to my image and identity.  All to better align with the woman I am today, and the woman I am becoming.  Because we are ever evolving and growing beings, right?

FIRST HOUSE IDENTITY SHIFT

There are so many ways one can work on one’s identity - it’s not just about clothing.  It can be your hair, your habits and beliefs, your thoughts and values, your approach to life, ….I think you get the picture. While I have a bigger multiple year “identity” transformation project in the works thanks to Saturn’s 2.5 year sojourn through my first house  – I decided to cleanse my clothing closet this month when the Sun joined in the fun because fashion has never been my “strong suit” (ha ha!).   In fact, I often joke I was born without the fashion gene.  However lately – perhaps fueled by Saturn and the Sun’s energies – I am feeling a strong desire to make fundamental changes in this area.  A desire to consciously and more mindfully express my true authentic self and essences through my wardrobe – through what I wear, how I accessorize.  And what better way to kick that process of than by clearing out the old closet? 

WHAT’S IN YOUR CLOSET?  

Easy, right? Not so much apparently when you are me. (I have a sneaky suspicion I might not be alone!)   As I embarked on the project – I was reminded once again of how psychological a process even something as simple as cleaning out your closet can be. 

Because as many of you already know – it’s often true that the choices you make in life – clothing choices included - are a reflection of where you are on your soul's evolutionary growth process.      While I thought I’d done a bang up job up until now of letting go of old values, beliefs, habits, behavior patterns, AND clothing that no longer served, aligned with and supported me – what I found hanging in my closet begged to differ. Though this isn’t my first closet cleanse – I realized as I got into the project – that 50% of what I thought was a clothing closet was in fact a graveyard for old outfits and clothing representing parts of me I thought I’d outgrown, transformed and/or shed. 

YOUR CLOTHES SAY A LOT - WHAT DO YOURS SAY ABOUT YOU?

Yikes!  What a surprise to see all that old energy still hanging around in the form of:  little black dresses I'd worn in my twenties; cool suits, outfits and dresses bought over twenty plus years ago while traveling to places like Paris and Sydney – but rarely worn once home; black silk evening wear my mother wore and passed on to me; and suits for corporate work 10 plus years old.  While the clothes are all still in good shape and fit me physically – I haven’t worn some of these items for years, and none – If I pause to tune in and listen to my inner wisdom – fit energetically the woman I am today or the woman I am becoming. What these clothes represent instead are:

• Old beliefs (lack of abundance - hold on to it because it might come back into fashion and then you won’t have to spend money again to buy it)
• Over-honoring of inherited values (thriftiness, frugality, conservatism– familial core values that while not necessarily "bad" - aren’t a reflection of my core values)
• A bit of youth nostalgia and sadness around letting go of my youth/my past
• Little to no ROI on some investments made, a condition that was never corrected
• Perhaps a little fear vs. faith in what the future will bring

Yuck!  None of this represents who I am or how I feel today, yet by holding on to these items, their energies linger on and every time I see them hanging there in my closet – they chip away at my self identity - affirming who I was in the past, not who I am today.

AURGH!!  How - despite all the self-development work I’ve done to transform hindering beliefs and shed values not my own have these items managed to remain in my closet all these years?  How did I miss their energy draining impact?  And what emotional pull must these items still have on me for me to hesitate - even now - from letting them go?

CLOSET CLEANSING TIPS

Luckily – before setting out on this project - I picked up a few “closet cleansing” tips from my soul sister Anne as she - like me, and maybe you too – is in the process of transforming herself – her business AND her closet simultaneously.  Tips such as:

• Create an interim “boxing” step for items like those above that may need a two step versus one step process to leave your home – with the first step being to remove the item from your immediate visual / emotional energy field – before moving on to step two of sending it to the thrift store, recyclers, ebay, or to the dump.
• When trying something on – ask yourself, “Does this fit who I am today?  Does this fit where I am headed?  Does this fit my future self?  Would my moderate rebel (a core essence of mine) wear this?  Who of my four core essences does wear this?"  
• And should all of the above fail, sending a quick text to said friend to get her support along the way.

A CLEANSED CLOSET

Armed with these tips, my friend’s support, a firm desire to grow and evolve, and a heavy dose of self-love and compassion – I managed to clear my closet of all of those items listed above.  Some ended up in bags that went to the thrift store.  Some in boxes destined for the garage where they will hang out for no more than a year before going on to step 2.  Some like the boots pictured at the top – boots I literally loved and wore to pieces while traipsing around the City in my twenties – were memorialized and released energetically in order to flow on to their next life.

You’ve all heard the old adage that we only wear 20% of our wardrobe actively?  Well – for the first time ever – I have a section of my closet now containing clothing I wear actively 100% of the time. That’s pretty exciting for this fashion neophyte. 

I saved the best of the story for last though.  It’s the most exciting outcome of this closet cleanse and one I’m dumfounded I didn’t realize sooner.  It’s a realization that will help me tremendously moving forward as I bridge my way from where I am today – to the dream wardrobe of my future.

FINANCIAL PLANNING = FASHION PLANNING: THE SAME PRINCIPLES APPLY

My realization was this: Had I applied the same principles to creating a wardrobe as I have to creating a retirement portfolio - I’d have a wonderful “me fitting” wardrobe right now.  DUH!  Why I didn’t see this sooner I’ll never know.  (Maybe it’s something to do with that fashion gene deficiency – or those latent non-serving old values and beliefs still cluttering up my psyche closet!)  This realization came to me as I was struggling over what to do with the beautiful green wool Daniel Hechter suit I’d bought in Paris 20 zillion years ago but had infrequently worn once home.  If that suit had been a stock or mutual fund – it would have been a no brainer decision.  In fact – I would have dumped it (or thrift stored it) long ago for not providing a solid steady return on my investment!  Duh. Duh. Duh!  

Creating a wardrobe now seems so easy when I consider transfering financial principles, skills and steps to developing a wardrobe and my fashion acumen. Accordingly – here are some tactics (translated from finances to fashion) I’m going to “play” with and apply moving forward as I work on creating a wardrobe that oozes my current and future self's essences: 

• Identify what kind of “investor” you are – translated – identify your fashion archetype/s
• Identify your asset classes – translated – identify your fashion asset classes and asset class categories including but not limited to:  exercise, home casual, work, evening etc. Whatever works for your lifestyle
• Study and research funds and stocks– translated – study up on fashion, for example – what outfits does your archetype wear when working?  Out for the evening?  Within an asset class - say nice casual - how does she wear boots with dresses, boots with pants?
• Identify your asset allocation – translated - identify what percentage of your entire wardrobe portfolio you want to allocate to what asset class, for example, 5% evening wear, 20% exercise, 50% nice casual (or whatever it’s called), etc.
• Within those asset classes – identify what kinds of funds you want to put in them – translated – figure out what clothing items you want in each fashion asset class.  For example, I'd like the the asset class of nice casual / work wear to consist of:  2 dresses (describe in greater detail when you know what you want), 4 pants:  jeans (blue, black, boot cut ...whatever you want here), boots (describe what you want here)
• Plan an annual clothing strategy and budget - and stick to your plan. 
• Buy investment vehicles based on your strategy - translated - Using your plan, buy clothing items to fill gaps you've identified between the state of your wardrobe today, and where you wish it to be.  
• Track performance and asset allocation throughout the year – translated – keep a pulse on the return of your clothing investments.  What are you wearing?  How often?  How much enjoyment and pleasure are you getting from wearing it?
• And perhaps most important of all, re-strategize, rebalance and plan you "wardrobe" portfolio and budget every year!

NEW WARDROBE HERE I COME!

The idea of approaching the task of creating a wardrobe strategically from a financial perspective gets me all happy and excited!  Who knew?  (Well - I know some of you already knew!)  It also gives me permission to give myself adequate time to bridge from where I am now to where I wish to be wardrobe wise - as I did not create my financial portfolio overnight.  So when my inner speed demon mean girl raises her ugly head and demands to know why I don’t have it all in place yet – I can remind myself (and her) that good things take time:  It takes time to research and amass learning, to develop fashion acumen, to create strategies, to shop for clothing, to make mistakes and learn from them, to manage emotional impulses and stick to your plan instead.  It takes time to build and grow, but grow and build I will!   

I realize that not all the tools and tricks from my financial world will apply to my fashion world – that I’ll develop new tools and tricks along the way as needed.  But at least I have a roadmap and an idea of how to manifest a wardrobe that fits me to a T. A strategy that lets me be me and go about doing things “my way” to create the fitting wardrobe of my dreams – and in the process – allows me to express myself authentically.  New wardrobe here I come!

What about you?  

What do your clothes say about you?  

Are you a wardrobe planning fashion goddess?  If yes - what wardrobe building tips do you recommend? 

If your goddess talents lie elsewhere - but you too want a wardrobe that oozes 100% you - what's next up for you? 

Falling into Fall: Breathe Deeply and Let Go

After an active month of harvesting and storing the "fruits" of this year's business labors (in the form of a bushel of new private clients signing up for new coaching programs in the past two months) the pace and energy of life is finally settling into its post harvest rhythm - a reminder that fall - heralded by that harvest - is finally here.  After all of that harvest energy and activity - and with the days shortening, the leaves changing color, and the temperatures ever so subtly cooling - I feel a growing desire to turn inward, to get cozy, to connect or reconnect with my creative soul.  A desire to let go and be still.

It's a desire that despite all my years on the planet of living and learning who I am and how I best operate - I sometimes struggle to fulfill.  And if that's true for me, what is it like for folks like you who might be working in an organization where the pace is "go go" harvest like all year round?  For folks with busy jobs and weekends filled with errands and/or their kid's activities?  

When fall beckons you to let go, slow down and be still - how do you do so when the world around you is revolving at top speed?

I find "conscious" balanced breathing to be a handy and efficient tool to use "in-the-moment" when I need help accessing and connecting with the deeper quiet peace of my inner world.  When the world around you is swirling and twirling - taking a few long and slow deep breaths in and out - in the moment - will work wonders to help you ground and center.  I know it did for me earlier in the week as I transitioned from the bustle of harvest and the hosting of out of town guests - back into the work world and it's pent up demands.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Do this for a few breaths.  (Less than five minutes will do the trick).  Balance the count in of your inhale with the count out of your exhale.  Notice what happens as you do.  Your autonomic nervous system will love you for this!

Balanced breathing doesn't have to take a lot of time and you can do it anywhere and everywhere.  In your car on the way to work when you get cut off by that annoying guy in the Mercedes.  Breathe in, breathe out.  In the meeting with your boss and second line to discuss your product's roadmap - and the "opportunities" (a.k.a. challenges) therewith.  Breathe in, breathe out.  In any and all interactions with your tweens and teens.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Simple.  Effective.  And often the only tool available to us - in the moment, when life or the proverbial poop is hitting the fan - to help us ground, center, and "fall into" a more quiet and resourceful state of being.

While extremely helpful in creating quiet and stillness, breathing isn't what I originally came here to write about though.  What I really wanted to write about is the fall season and the thoughts and questions I've been pondering about since reading a post written by of one of my more favorite (and inspirational) bloggers over at Hullabaloo Homestead - a blog written by an amazing photographer, writer, and homesteading mother of 5.  In her post, she writes "just as the beautiful leaves release and fall from the trees" fall is a time for us to release and let go as well. "A time for letting go.  A time for preparing.  A time to hunker down and be with ourselves and our thoughts in quiet and stillness".

I'd already "felt" the desire for quiet and stillness - but what caught my attention in her post was the part about letting go.  And ever since - I've been reflecting on the concept of "letting go" ( and how and why deciduous trees shed their leaves this time of the year) and asking myself  the following questions.

Just as the trees are shedding their leaves - what am I innately and naturally releasing and letting go of this time of year as part of my annual growth cycle?    

What can I let go of to fall into fall's delicious post harvest quite and stillness?  

Even if our "outside" lives are busy and demanding, what can we release and let go of to fall into alignment with the season, and in doing so, fall into alignment with the earth's and our very own innate growth cycles, rhythms, and energy?  

Because the fun fact about leaves falling is that it's the tree itself that is doing the severing of ties with the leaf as part of it's annual growth cycle.  (Super short and interesting NPR Science post on that process here.) Where once those leaves provided nourishment, if they were to stay on the tree instead of falling - they may get water logged, freeze, and die there.  New leaves would not be able to grow and the tree would perish as a result.

So what can you let go of to further your annual growth?  Trusting that new nourishing "leaves" will appear in seasons to come?

I've noticed some clients doing a superb job of "letting go" this fall.  One let go of "playing it nice" and instead - boldly claimed (from their boss) the presenting of materials (that they had prepared) to their executive team - receiving rave (career boosting) reviews as a result.  Another is in the process of shedding emotional baggage and diminishing connections with people who drain rather than uplift them.  Me?  I'm letting go of visioning and planning for the far distant future - content for the time being to focus instead on the present moment and what's in front of me right now - like the gorgeous gold, orange and red leaves of fall that I see all around me - and sharing them with you here.  I'm slowing my pace and making space and time for quiet, stillness and reflection - trusting that this is exactly where I need to be and what I need to be doing in order to flourish and grow.  

What about you? 

Marketing My Way: First Month Check-In

Abundance flowing in!

WOW.  WOWZIE.  WOOT WOOT!

There! Had to release some of that energy in order to shift gears and check back in with you to share what's been cooking since I embarked on a "Marketing My Way" 6 month experiment a month ago which you can read all about here.

BACKGROUND

A month ago today, I stopped doing marketing the way other "successful" people market (or at least the ways I was telling myself other successful people market), and instead, gave myself permission to market my own organic "provide great service, do what makes your heart sing, and let your happy clients do the marketing for you" way.  I made this a 6 month exploratory experiment. A container in which I would explore and try this concept on - with planned check-ins during and after to decide how to proceed with marketing.  Well, one month in, and all I can say is, WOWIE!  What a liberating decision this has been!

Basking in the light and joy!

THE FLOW, THE ENERGY, THE JOY!

The minute I made the decision to get back to the organic, collaborative way of attracting and working with clients that has always worked for me - the minute I made that decision - the dam that had been blocking the river of abundant "pre-ordered" universal goods from reaching me vanished!  Poof.  It was gone.

I've been bathing in an endless flow of lush, verdant, multihued abundance ever since!

It's as though up until that moment - I'd been standing in my very own way of receiving all of the abundance I'd ordered from The Universe.  I was the proverbial dam.  The moment I made the choice to give myself permission to step aside, be my authentic self, and "practice" marketing in a way that makes me happy - the literal floodgates opened.  And it wasn't just about the tangible fulfillment of desires in my work life, but a flow of tangible results into all areas of my life.  (While some desires had certainly "trickled through" before - apparently I'd been damming other things up for quite a while now!)

Multihued

Abundance!

Lush and Verdant

TANGIBLE RESULTS!

Here's what receiving the fulfillment of dreams and wishes (placed as orders into the Universe) has looked like this past month:

- a non stop flow of creative ideas on how to structure new coaching programs, ideas for fun tools and new concepts to use in coaching, visions of spreadsheets I'd like created, new coaching materials and templates created....

- a large number of ideal new potential clients contacting me - 66% of whom have become clients - a number my gut says will likely be 77% by the end of September

- two offices painted - and taking advantage of an emptied office - another round of de-cluttering and getting a ton of pesky (but necessary) computer and other tech equipment cables and wires off the floor!  (Both painting and wire clean up projects were "ordered" some years ago!)

- one OktoberFest party for 30 plus - planned and thrown (also years in the dreaming...)

- a fun membership appreciation evening at Filoli shared with my husband, new photography friends, and my iPhone camera

- A new job for my husband (an interesting twist of events worth noting)

- Embodiment and full ownership of the innate gifts, energy and essences I have to offer - so yummy!

- A LOT of overall fun, energy and enjoyment of life and work

- A LOT of career, leadership and wisdom development coaching with fabulous clients

- A LOT of activity to on board new clients and welcome them into the "sacred sanctuary" of their coaching program

A pumpkin being her pampered pumpkin self (with a little help from her gardening friends...)

Water Lily stretching for the sun - being true to her water lily self.

Sunflower standing tall and proud!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

As I mentioned in August, this Marketing My Way (or fill in the blank ________ my WAY) experiment is infectious.  I just got off a "soul sista" connection call with fellow business woman, artist, friend, and soul sister Anne Labrie - who this past year has been developing her new art business "HER very own WAY".  Oh my goodness! The girl is on fire! Doing marketing and business development her way - Anne recently manifested four new events through which she will share her amazing artwork with all of us lucky Bay Area folks in the coming weeks.  Including the San Carlos Art and Wine Faire October 12th and 13th.  Can't wait to see her there!

Are you standing in your own way?

If you aren't receiving what you've ordered from the Universe, could it possibly be because you're blocking the flow of abundance from reaching you too?  If like me you've strayed from being your authentic self and are not doing what makes you happy in service of, and for the positive benefit of all - then maybe, just maybe, giving yourself permission to be your authentic self - doing ABC your WAY - will help you open up to and receive the abundance that's been gathering and waiting to flow in to you too.

A word of advice - once your My Way experiment is implemented - be ready to receive! 

If anyone else out there is trying their own My Way experiment (you get to pick the topic and the time frame) - let us know!  Let us know what your experiment is - and as you "lean" into it - what you're experiencing and learning as a result.  Tell us what works for you, what doesn't, and what tips you would recommend to fellow My Way experimenters.  We can't wait to hear from you!

STAY TUNED!

Stay tuned for more from the marketing "MY WAY" experiment in coming months! 

Marketing "My Way": A 6 Month “Experiment” Begins

Charlie - A Master "My Way" Practitioner

How long does one have to feel crappy inside about the way one is approaching something, for example marketing, before realizing there’s a better way?  Apparently far too long when that one is me.

 

BACKGROUND

Ever since embarking on my business remodel – and more importantly – hiring two bang up coaches for a pretty penny to help doulah me through the birth of my new business baby – I’ve been in a marketing froth.

You see, up until now (my guilty secret) I’ve never given a rat’s ass (wherever did that statement come from?) for “traditional” marketing.  Make that any marketing.  Yes I threw a business web site up, but even then, I never chased after clients for references.  Never anguished about updating the website too much, except every year to update the copyright year. And you see, the thing is, I never had to.  (Give a rat’s heiney about marketing that is).

Instead, I did my one-on-one relationship marketing, I reluctantly put up a Linkedin profile when that became all the rage, but most importantly - I helped clients successfully make positive changes happen in their career and in their personal and professional life. There were more folks promoted than I can count.  New career and life paths forged.  There were career transitions, salary increases, new skills learned, vastly improved 360 feedback and performance results, improved work life harmony, on-boarding, off-boarding, lots of “this really matches me” jobs found and/or created…..and in turn……these happy clients and HR Business Partners referred their friends, family, colleagues, and employees on to me.  And so it went. On and on.  It was organic.  It worked.

Somehow though, upon embarking on my business remodel – I tossed all these old ways out  – certain that because I was making  some big "paradigm shift" changes to my business – these old ways wouldn't work.  That to attract my new “ideal clients” I would now have to market in a whole new vomit and fear inducing way.  Oops.  Did I just say vomit?  That should have been my first clue. The fact that my two fabulous love them to pieces coaches, Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo, are both marketing power houses (attracting clients, coaching and helping hundreds of people a year AND raking in the big bucks to boot) only added more fuel and froth to the marketing story I was telling myself. 

OH THE STORY-LICIOUS LIES WE WEAVE

A story that went something like this:  To be over the moon successful (as successful as say my coaches are?) I must now do marketing in a whole new “everybody who is wildly successful is doing it this way” way if I hope to achieve the results I wish and dream for in my business (even if my business model is nothing like theirs).  And thus believing this story, I frothed.  The mere thought of some of these new marketing concepts making me want to toss my lunch.  (In defense of my coaches, they never said I had to do these things, it was all me.  Me and my inner mean girls for sure!)

WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT? WRITE A NEW STORY

Then I wrote my Positive Penny post.  And all became crystal clear.  Being and expressing myself authentically in my life and in my work is crazy important to me.  It’s what brought me to this point in time in life.  It’s what spurred me to get out of a corporate job and into coaching 15 plus years ago.  It’s what sparked the current remodel of my business.  When I think about why I do what I do – it’s because I want so much for others, like you, to live and lead an authentic life connected to wisdom too.  

To know who you are (warts and all) and to express yourself authentically.  To share your gifts, talents, and wise intelligent fully expressed self with all of us.  I want your heart to sing at work.  Hell, I want your heart to sing everywhere. Because ultimately – all that positive energy oozing out onto the planet has got to have a positive impact on the Earth.  Better than oozing non-stop negativity – right?

My authentic self?  She’s a bit of a rebel.  She doesn’t want to do what every other service provider and their momma is doing to market – unless doing so makes her heart sing.  Her heart sings when she writes, takes photos and creates beautiful, sometimes inspiring, sometimes informational, sometimes awareness shifting, sometimes “just because” blog posts for you. 

It sings when she contemplates creating a new and beautiful web-site.  A space that invites people in to take time out and stay a short while. A space where they can nourish, nurture and refuel their busy hard working souls.  Perhaps leaving a little more inspired, uplifted, informed and energized as a result.  A space that allows potential clients to reach out for help to make their personal and professional lives hum at ever evolving levels when they feel / know it’s time to do so.  She – who is me - wants marketing to be fun.  To evolve.  Organically. 

THE 'MARKETING MY WAY' EXPERIMENT

So I thought to myself, what if I gave myself full permission to “market my own way” for the next 6 months?   What if I treated this as an experiment - as something to try on to test and see how it works for me?  To see if giving myself space and time to do things my own authentic way garners the results I want.  The relief, joy, and palpable enthusiasm I felt as I thought about this was all the "YES" I needed.  And thus, the 'marketing my way' experiment was born.   At the end of 6 months, and probably at points along the way, I'll take a pulse check and measure results.  If I’m not getting the results I've envisioned, I'll consider making adjustments at that time.    

CO – CONSPIRATORS

I shared my marketing epiphany and experiment with budding co-collaborator (and heck of a cool gal Fiona) who is working on a business remodel of her own.  She’s a little ahead of me remodel wise, and on our collaboration calls, has jokingly referred to Sales and Marketing as “S&M”. (If you don’t get what that means, please don’t ask me to explain, ask Fiona.)   When she heard about my experiment, her response was an emphatic “I want to do that with you too”!  So off we go, together, doing this thing called marketing our own way.  

Calling it an experiment though doesn’t work for her – which is just fine by me.  It doesn’t matter what she calls it, as long “her way” works for her.  I’ve invited Fiona to guest blog here about her experience, so stay tuned! 

What About YOU?

Where in your life are you aching to try on a 6 month "XYZ My-Way" experiment?  You know the place I'm talking about.   Maybe it's about marketing and developing your business too.  Maybe it's about how you approach your health and well being.  Or perhaps it's about how you lead your organization, team or project.  Or it might be about how you approach parenting, or relating with a loved one.  Or maybe it's about how you approach finding a new job, or develop yourself professionally.  Whatever it is,  do share!  We'd love to hear all about it!

(Remember please – I’m advocating for positive, highest self-expression here.  Not – let me beat you up and cause you pain cuz that’s my way of expressing myself ways.  Nothing that will cause intended harm to other living souls please).  

STAY TUNED!

I'll be blogging some time soon about initial results, which popped up immediately in the first two weeks of the experiment.  Mind boggling actually.....so stay tuned for more from me and maybe Fiona too about the marketing "MY WAY" experiment!